i hate 'you' now n forever

//this was written two years back, felt like sharing this stupid teenager's hate with you//


i hate u now…
nor i love the things u said,
neither want to remember
the promises u made.

i cant see ur face anymorr,
when i close my eyes.
Just see the hatred
i possess for u in my core.

after all this…written!
i say…
i hate u more even.
u creeped outta me
sometime back
when u said those things
which were serious…
contrary to ur expression,
i lately caught ur intention.

everything was misunderstood,
since then i never weeped,
i gathered strength
against all that stuff
i cant forget you
cos bad memories forever last
but can surely erase from my heart.

u’ll soon faint i know’
...till then i want to die!!!

i do not link u to betrayal
but ur deed wasn’t okay,
i have no hopes with you
just i can only pray.

today u might have lots of love
around you
but one day u’ll crave for it,
i have hate to give you
for then u’ll love it.

i promise to never
cross ur river
everynite i yet shiver
when i hear you.

dont cross my path in future
i’ll keep mine away
though the hate in me
for u,
will forever stay.

you took toll of my patience
i forgive
you jugded my love
i forgive
you kept me in dark
i forgive
you insulted me in the past
i forgive
you haunted me in my dreams
i forgiv
you let me go away
i hate u for this…!

i have grudges against you
u’ll never explain
i dont want to hear...infact
they’ll forever remain.

now got no questions to ask
i hav answers in your silence
which is bleak and wet
your silence pierces though
it shields me yet.

if ever in my life
u’ll face me
i will see the guilt
u’ll see the hate in me.
cos i have nothing else to give u.

nobody can heal the wounds
i have hate to heal
which though may not be good
but i have only hate to conceal.

i tried to wash the footprints
of my love for u
they are still there
i made new ones of hate
which are more clear.

i threw all the memories
burnt the times
washed the compassion
and kept hate for you.

you meet me neva
go away….i hate u forever.

truth of my life
i dared to accept it
i have no reason
to go back
but to move on
still the hate in me
hasn’t gone.

-swati goyal

when i was in the dark, alone

It was late that night
stars were lazy, moon aint bright
I sat on my bed, before I'd retire
legs pulled inside my stomach
chin rested on knee, calm was my attire.

Eyes blinked, but too long was the interval
Hair flew, but so slow was the breeze
It was hard to differentiate the darkness in and out
was restless to think lest i would freeze.

And i thought,
that night i talked,
like a child to my inner god,
not afraid of being vulnerable,
not afraid if words weren't that suitable,
I spoke, without having to speculate a lot.

When i was in the dark, alone
I rested in silence upon his lap
this innocence and brightness i never revealed
the mask of surety was unknowingly peeled
I could cry and laugh out loud
was hopeful being alone, didn't miss the crowd

I saw the tooth fairy bringing up childhood stories
and those peter pan and tinker bell's memories
One hand was on my head,
another held my hand,
i was alive in me, it did assure
worries, volatile like never before
empyrean broke my forehead,
and reached my core.


by: me :)

monologue

you still here
I'd watched you go
why you smiling?
what do you want to show?

oh, this..
i knew i had.
for long, didn't miss
but its back and I'm glad.

Brooded over it,
spent several hours thinking
and understood in a while,
just when i thought..i was sinking.

You talk to me
waiting for you, to reply
Ah! yes, I almost forgot to tell
from months i didn't cry.

Now, you're here *sigh*
and i've seen you again
i'd love you to stay
we'll together feel the rain.

You shine under my skin,
You're the moment, consuming eternity,
You're the heart full of love,
did u miss my insanity?

a dusk

sitting here on the roof, time of dusk
watching the sun embracing the earth.
after it'd burn it all through the day
it loveth her, consumes her dismay.

this horizon dissolves my soul,
blends my surface and my core.
i feel I'm blowing away with the wind
like a leaf separated from the tree
to find some way, and the joy to bring.

Over my head, i see
birds returning to nests
but they aren't weary
i wish i share this flight too
while i sit alone on this uncanny roof

Sweating foreheads heading to their homes
and i watched quietly lamps that begin to glow
we'd bid goodbye to the sun
for tomorrow it'd return
with a new charm, with a new dawn
when all my dreams are gone.

:Swati Goyal