Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Entwined Part#1

"I miss you, OK?" I said, with diminishing voice in my throat. He was on the other side of the phone, I think he was imagining me with a maudlin face. I wanted to deliver my need in the best possible way, but I couldn't speak more than this. Eyes were sunk with tears but they denied to fall away and ruin the moment, my sight was blurred and voice, sloppy. I gathered myself to tell him what I did all day, distracting him from what I might say in need, but he understood my expression and in the middle of my monologue he spoke. His voice gave me goosebumps. He said, he wandered all day long, met several people, been to crowded and attractive places, but everywhere he had me beside him that is why he couldn't miss me, he sighed and fell silent. I sat on the cold chair in the courtyard, trembling, because I was joyous and teary. I felt a deep peace in my heart. His love was simple and honest, and I got the most of it. I was special in his world, like never in mine.

We conversed for another five minutes, before we could good-bye each other he chuckled and kissed his phone, "..on your forehead" he said and hung up. It was a tough week for me and him, we barely talked..but I cherished that he always had time for me. Those few moments of the day concluded my thought process, I stared at his pictures as long as I didn't fall into my bed and shut my eyes to make images of me and him together, that's how I sleep calmly these days, I remembered in my head. For an unknown reason I confessed to him my love that night, now every poem, verse, or thought doesn't come without him, its like I'm venturing totally a super-awesome amazing world right parallel to this one. I came in, sat and covered my face with my hands, I missed him more. Tears welled this time, I did not stop them too. All the load on my heart drained away with them, I was feeling light and illuminated from head to toe.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Bizarre Search



I observed something bizarre but interesting on my blog stats, the most searched keyword was "abyss". Is it true then, we are eager to fall? Curiosity about abyss is a dead end or is it not? I may not want to further dig this topic because its kinda gravitational. Me finds no peace these days to pour in here, instability and insatiability, both forces are alike and combination of these terrify my world. Instability is in the context of my thought and insatiability is again related to thought but also will. I can not fulfill my will or something that's more of me, I lack will and wisdom. I judge myself like others do, I try to fight my conflicting thoughts, I push them away constantly, but corner of my heart denies everything that's true, it is lured by sadism and hate. May be that we call bizarre or may be not.