Saturday, October 29, 2011

Visually

Its the same old story, wake up late and do not think at all about the forth coming day. That's how it is going. Then you realized you had a better plan than sleeping, you make a few calls and end up with nothing. You curse everything around you..for your life is as numb as it was a day before. No Plans! Is that it what your problem could be?



What else then? Move on! no other damn option in your life for your mind is fucked up by those small little things, want to sleep more?? Or watch TV or any movie? Its not good, better be sad, and wait for the night.




Argue! Spoil moods..yours and everybody around..display anger and frustration and fight till tears well down.




Aloof yourself from friends and any help, and sleep. Wake up in the night to cry alone, wishing if someone gives you one tight hug..blah!! That could never happen, you don't get it when you really need it. Next day compromise with life, stop fighting, and smile..yeah that's how they judge you fighter!


Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Understanding the web


What you do when while in your sleep you get caught in a web, and from there on you'd have to live within it howsoever you try to get out, it won't go. You'll make a relationship with it and may be later you'll start loving it...will understand it. Yeah! that's kinda forceful but what other option you have except to carry the dead loathed scum with you. That's how you're dealing with your present right now, forcefully. "The same old routine", how many times in a day you tell yourself that your path is not meant for you, this aint an ant-story like today I read in a novel, ants will survive the natural or man-made calamities by following each other, on the other hand you are gonna turn into ruins. You need a separate shield that is unique and protective of you. Parents followed their parents, but that doesn't mean they did a right thing...they deprived the world of some more art, talent and uniqueness. There must be thousand things you don't like but still do it to please either your parents, neighbor or any one passing by, in that case loved ones..go out in sunshine or in moonlight alone and ask yourself, "Do I Want To Hate Myself One Day?"..if your spirit says "NO". Kill your routine and tell yourself that you're that beautiful soul that never loses its charm and attraction, from next moment itself, you'll play with everything, you'll stop being a slave to your surroundings, and suddenly in that following sleep of yours that web, which originated out of nowhere will melt down...will surrender.

Do one exercise today, a ritual that I created on my own..you might like to apply some changes to it, do as your heart says. So here it is, turn the lights off of your room, sit down on a chair and place a big white candle in front of you on an altar, light it. Concentrate on the flame, observe it closely..the blue, the red, the orange and the yellow. Keep looking for few minutes, and then think of just someONE you really care for, someONE not in your family, some stranger may be whom you want to meet again..someone far yet closer than all other. Keep concentrating on the flame..Look for a eye like shape or keep wandering but don't let your gaze go. You just have to look till you know why you're doing it. After you know, you've understood too. Share with me.  

Friday, October 21, 2011

Its time everyone gets home!!

I watched for two complete hours outside the window of the bus I was travelling by, nothing strange did I see. It was the same expression that I saw on each face that evening - panic! There was hurry in every step to get back home safe, before the sun sets in..nor was I in some other mood..but all this humanity amused me for a while. I read many life related articles, they can not write better than I can all they have is a better opportunity than me, while i was making this as note in my mind reading an article in an English daily, i found my bus in middle of a road jam. It almost took us one hour to escape the slow movement, and that did increase the tension factor in my mind too not because I was afraid of the dark but because someone at home doesn't know that I was safe enough. The day was spectacular, I spent it my way but now its time to get back to my nest, I thought to myself like everybody.
All day the birds fly, and at the end of the light, they turn down from the sky..because in night they get shy..for the prey are often sly.  

Sunday, October 16, 2011

The day I played stone paper and scissors


I never thought life would be this
Tensed and pretentious
How long do I have to walk
on this sad old grey road
where sometimes happy memories
touch and go
leaving a moment of joy
as a curve on my lips.

When I look back
Journey wasn't too bad
It is just this ugly path
stones everywhere,
All  I've is some inked paper to wrap.

From my past, I recollect
some fine pearls
lying since forever on the side of my reign.
And may be its my sheer luck
that I remembered the day
when I learnt this game
a child to child's play
and also, never did I thought
I'd again have my fate to blame.




.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

In-mid-end





I’ve seen you hideous                                                                                  
Even in my thoughts                                                                                    
You cross the bridge                                                                                    
with the trembling gaps                                                                                  
and find yet another                                                                                    
piece of misery                                                                                            
You do not move further                                                                              
but didn’t opt to turn your back                                                                      
Bravery,                                                                                                    
and the pain flourish                                                                                    
Hard                                                                                                          
It has always been                                                                                      
pushing without a reason                                                                              
your own tolerance at stretch                                                                
meeting the ghosts                                                                              
yelling in numbness                                                                                
upon the rock hard bed found                                                                      
you try to look aback                                                                                  
at the other end of the bridge                                                                      
yet you held some hope                                                                                
And here fate tightens the rope