Friday, October 14, 2016

Few days just won't pass, then there is tomorrow too

On some days you feel okay-okay, some days as bright as sunflowers and on others you feel like you are sinking into the slumber. This is just one of these days.

It's hard to listen to your echoing thoughts when you're at the bottom of the sea. You feel your words won't matter, you are screaming but calling no one, you feel nothing is important and mostly, yourself. You don't know what hope means, you are disgusted with your being. Heartrendingly self deprecating you've become and this realization of futility of existence just won't leave you. All world's a stage and you stand there like an immovable subject of perish and mockery. Even the acknowledgement of your presence aches you in the head.

You imagine an end to this, this heaviness of life, like a gardener whose garden of dreams is destroyed by the reality. You're extremely sad.

What have you done? Or was not doing anything, your fault? You wanted to live once, completely and that desire now seems to be fuming away. You are ogling the mirror accidentally put in front of you and see nothing but sordidness. This body is pouring poison. You start learning about the irony of being. You are living and simultaneously you're dying.

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